Friday, May 31, 2013

dirty menopause

It's been a month now since we moved off grid... I miss indoor plumbing.

Not only am I trying to adjust to life off grid from the pampering of hot showers at will, dogs running freely in a fenced yard and internet, but I'm also trying to adjust to my body changing.  My poor husband has taken the brunt of my psychosis... sometimes I'm amazed I'm still married.

For those of you not familiar with menopause let me give you the laments terms cliff notes version:

Imagine you were a PC & had to rewire yourself with new components but everything is written in a foreign language that you've never even heard of.  Now add erratic temperature changes, uncontrollable mood swings & the opposite of a sense of euphoria.  So basically put your entire being in a state of chaos & try to function like everything is completely normal.

This is menopause.

If that wasn't enough confusion to my being,  I am also trying to adjust to the complete opposite lifestyle to which I was raised.  This turns the slight inkiness of constant dirt blowing into my abode (as it does here in the desert) to a major life threatening catastrophe.  The fact that my husband can still look at me & tell me he loves me after I verbally rip him several new holes all because my toes are dirty, makes me one lucky menopausal bitch.

Ah dirt... this has been the plague on me since we moved off grid.  There is so much dirt & wind here in the high desert.  I have been spoiled with pavement & I miss it.  I do like driving on the dirt roads, as well as the beautiful scenery & wildlife.  Its the solitude & dirt I dislike.  I never realized how much of a slave I am to the Internet.  This wasn't around when I was a kid.  But now I'm addicted.  Not just to FB & Twitter... I'm addicted to the easy access of looking up facts wherever & whenever I want them.  I miss the glorious of technology.  I miss the clutter of irreverent chatter. Sure I will have these things once again, but in the meantime... I'll just continue having psychotic episodes baring on complete insanity with dirty feet & pray that I'm still married in the end.