Thursday, October 18, 2012

no direct flight home

So this past August I flew home to Massatucky to visit my family & go on a traditional pub crawl with my BFF of 30 something years.  I arrived at the Tucson airport for an early flight.  This of course did not sway me from hitting the bar for a preflight beer (I'm not a fan of flying & this is my way of relaxing before a flight).  I'm thinking I have plenty of time before boarding when I hear my name over the intercom.  So I chug what's left of my Boston lager (go figure) & scoot over to the gate for boarding.  The flight attendants were quite comical with their instructions on what to do in case of an emergency & they offered a choice of snacks without limitations... then I got my connecting flight.  The flight attendants were dead serious (seriously... I think they were possibly droids) & only one snack... peanuts.  I'll never understand the peanut thing.  Heck they don't even allow kids to bring PBJ's to school anymore due to allergies & yet on a small enclosed area such as an airplane seat row... they serve 'em up like their the best snack on earth (that would be Smartfood w/a glass of Limeade if anyone is wondering).  I finally arrived at Logan early the next day (it was after midnight).  I was home.

The next morning I woke with a tight chest, wheezing & within minutes was experiencing an asthma attack.  I had been having them for a few weeks in AZ, but since I have no insurance... I did what any iGirl would do... I asked for help from my friends on FB.  I got help from friends in the form of inhalers & prayers.  GREAT SUCCESS
But here I was... home realizing that the inhalers were no longer working & I had no time to wait for prayers... off to the ER I went.  I have to give the Brockton City Hospital credit for all their help in keeping me alive.  Someday I hope to be able to pay my $2,600 bill, but until then I can only shower them with praise.

The attack did throw a kink in my planned trip.  The Pigs Eye Jazz night ended up on the chopping block... sorry Pigs Eye:*(

The first day was now a day of rest.  I mean I did spend most of it in the ER with tubes up my nose, masks on my face & IV's in my arms... I was quite occupied.  So I spent the rest of the day under the care of Mom.  The following day was Thursday.  I had originally planned to visit POW tattoo in Worcester but needed another day to rest.  So under Mom's care I stayed.  Friday arrives.  I borrow the 'rents car & take off to Worcester.  Tyler is an old friend of the hubby's & mine... he was giving me a cock on my foot as a gift (it's an old Sailors lore:  cock on the right, never lose a fight, pig on the knee, never drown at sea)... well now with the asthma the never lose a fight had even more meaning.  The work took about 2 hours & then I was off back to Brockton to visit my brother's family.  I headed over there, we had dinner & watched the latest Harry Potter movie.  Then it was back to Mom's to rest up for the pub crawl.

Since Kim was down the Cape with her Dad, they came by & picked me up to drop us off at the T.  We headed into Harvard where we had booked a quaint little apartment for the night.  We found the place, met the owner & dropped off our bags.  Let the pub crawl begin.  We took the owners advice & began at a nice pub just down the street.  Then it was off to our old stomping grounds downtown to meet up with friends & family for a night of beers, beers & more beers.  Somehow Kim & I ended up with a bachelor party at the end of the night.  Even took a limo ride with about 20 strangers where we were all then kicked out.  This is where it got ugly.  The person who had booked the limo was unfortunately an asshole & quite confused by his intoxication levels.  He became quite nasty, insulting my friend & insinuating we were hookers.  So naturally I went to kick him in his scrotum region when he caught my foot.  Probably for the best... last time I got into a drunken confrontation I ended up with a boxers fracture.  Yes we drank a lot.  Needless to say Kim & I stuffed our faces at the cousins brunch the following day (I was even tempted to eat bacon).  But all in all it was a GREAT night.

A GREAT night followed by a GREAT brunch (I have the best family) & the rest of my visit was pretty GREAT too... even though I missed some friends & family... there were family members & friends I did not  expect to see but was incredibly happy I did.  I was able to enjoy some wonderful seafood & of course a pizza or two (ok 3) from Town Spa Pizza (OMG they are so good)!  I even got to catch up on Glee (TY Netflix).  Then it was time to fly back to my little parking spot on the planet... at the sidewalks end.  The only bummer is there are no direct flights... what's up with that?
shown:  actual size

I'd also like to add that the price & size of a cocktail on Southwest Airlines is RIDICULOUS!  $5.00 plus tax for a dixie cup with ice & a drop of booze... WTCocktail?!?

Sunday, October 7, 2012

emotional turmoil... OOOOOH LOOK... chocolate!

Emotional turmoil... that is what I've been... can one be turmoil?  Or is it just the motion of the confusing path my emotions have been on lately.  I'd love to just scream as loud as I could, but that would not only cause unwanted alarm.  Instead it bottles up... occasionally leaking out my eye sockets once in a while if not seeping out in a bitchy remark to those I love.  STRESS.  Life is stressful.  It shouldn't be, but it is.  Life is also emotional.  This is the part I both love & hate.  Much like chocolate... OK I always love chocolate, but sometimes it's too sweet & sometimes too bitter... just like life.  Perhaps that's why chocolate makes me feel better.

Today started out in emotional turmoil.  The stress of our living arrangement is getting to me.  I long for the day when I can use my own bathroom & not have to feel the need to ask to take a shower.  I long for the day when we can have privacy.  My steady is my job.  Sometimes I don't like it.  Sometimes people do & say stupid things that make my job unnecessarily complex.  Sometimes I feel like a doormat that people just want to walk all over & wipe their shit off onto.  Then sometimes someone brings me cookies & says that they would only return if I were still here.  sigh... those are the times that I cherish.  Those are the times that are like emotional chocolate.  I need my job to be my steady.  I need my emotional chocolate.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

jeans & sweaty eyeballs

It's not so much the weight gain & loss in the appearance sake that bothers me... I mean I never had an ass to begin w/so no one noticed when it was large for a short while... but the riddance of unfitting jeans was painful to my vanity (they made my butt look good).  Had I known that it was my thyroid acting up (or down in this case) then I would have hung onto them. 

If it's not my thyroid that is causing me minor stress its my menopause... who named this unfortunate decade in a woman's life?  Obviously not someone who actually when through it.  I never thought I would know what it felt like to have my eyeballs sweat... but now I know.  Not something I had down on my bucket list. 

I need chocolate.

The 40's of life... I can't say they have been better than my 30's (I mean I've only just begun them) but I can say this... they are HOT & not in a Paris Hilton kind of way.  Luckily the heat has not been severe in the Summer months as it has in the Winter... this I am sooooo grateful for (especially since my doctor said to be prepared to be going through the 'pause' for another 7 years... WTMenopause?!?) 

Well that my friends is this menopause in my life... If you are going through the 'pause' as well... my condolences.

Monday, August 27, 2012

backstabbing bitches

Backstabbing bitches... this was not a phrase I grew up with... that's not to say they weren't around... I just wasn't aware that I knew any~

It wasn't until I got older... some say blossomed... that I became aware of such creatures.

One would think that with age a woman would mature... become more aware of her surroundings... of the environment... of basic kindness... but alas this is not how all woman are... I guess one could argue not all woman are created equal.

It saddens me that these people exist.  I was lucky.  I had REAL friends.  I have REAL friends... but I have also been stung by the perpetual ugliness of the backstabbing bitch. 

I could sit here & call out all those who felt the need to drive their steel cold hearted spike into my backside but I'm also one who believes in Karma.  I know that these people (for gender sake I'll call them women) will remain ugly both inside & out.  They will never know happiness... they will never know true love... they will only know how to drive an emotional spike into those whom they wish they could be more like.  So to all you backstabbing bitches out there... go on with your bad self... Karma has your back;)

Thursday, July 26, 2012

random post of the day's to come & OH

Holy crap my birthday is in 4 day's... other than my asthma & the few pounds I've gained... I don't feel much older.  My thoughts have been on my trip home... it's been too long since I've seen mom... the kids... the ocean.  I am excited to go, but dread the flight (I hate flying)

I leave on Wednesday & arrive 5 minutes before Thursday.  GEESH... talk about a long flight (ok I do have a stopover in Chicago) but still... it's a long flight.

I'll get to visit w/one of my brothers on Thursday, Salem on Friday, Pub crawl w/Kimbro & crew on Saturday, ladies brunch on Sunday & then a few day's w/mom & a day trip to Maine (somewhere in there I have to surprise Dad... perhaps @ his DD meeting;)~ so my trip is not so much a vacation as a visitation... I have a lot of people to see in a short time.  I wish all of us were going together... driving across country w/the boys & RAQUEL all pimped out... but that takes time & the dreaded ongoing topic of money.  Don't get me wrong... we are doing well... better than most these day's.  But it's not like I have 20,000 sitting around to pimp our trailer out & I do have a job... so I can't take a month off to take such a trip.  So a plane ride or two will have to do & then we will work on Buster getting out there to visit as well as get the rest of our stuff.

AZ is AWESOME!  So many of my friends & family have the wrong impression of desert life.  Yes it gets hot, but not Phoenix hot... Phoenix is over 3 hours drive away & that's not including the stops by border patrol (yes I live that close to Mexico)

The high desert is the life.  We get GREAT weather most of the year & then in the summer we get the monsoons.  Crazy quick rain storms w/thunder & lightning.  These usually cause flash floods, but as long as you are on high ground (& so far I believe we are) your ok.  The one thing I do not like about monsoon season is the bugs.  It unearths flying insects & I've also seen 2 tarantulas (one thankfully was smooshed in RAQUELS door... must have happened during an eve bathroom run... ICKY)  But the monsoons also bring out the groovy creatures like lizards (my mother in law is not fond of them, but I think they're cool)
The BEST part about monsoon season... the scenery... it really makes you wonder whats out there~

So yeah... I'm loving the desert life.  The scenery is FABU & so far most of the people I've met down here are FABU too.

Well that's my update... I just typed this out at random... no initial thought process... I had actually hopped online to see if the latest Glee Project episode was up on HULU (yes I'm a gLeek)

Happy Day everyone... may good things come your way providing your  not an asshole;)

OH... & I got a round trip for under $500!  CRAZY AWESOME

Friday, June 29, 2012

flying under 500

Next Friday... next Friday is when I can finally get my ticket to Boston.  I'd like to fly for under 500 & hopefully my wait will not cause me to pay $500+... that would totally suck.  I don't like flying in the first place... of course I've never flown in a personal jet... that I probably would like... who wouldn't... but flying in general sucks. 

The monsoon season is beginning.  We've been getting thunderstorms every day & it's been hitting 100 quite frequently, but it cools considerably at night.  Hector is the only one of our boys that does not like the heat... of course he is also overweight.  Speaking of weight... mine has gone up.  Living w/the in-laws, getting fed rich foods everyday, not walking to work (I would so be coyote bait) & drinking lots of beer have given me almost 10lbs above my skinny ass weight I've had for the past 15years.  I don't mind it so much.  Of course I wish the weight would fall in two places up front & not sit at my waistside... and having to get rid of all but one pair of my jeans kind of sucked... but I can live w/it.  It's giving me gumption to exercise more & take walks uphill on my break during workdays.  I need to not partake in the goodies w/guests at work, only coffee & keep my portions of normal small person size at night... lessenign the beer & candy will be hard... but I CAN DO IT... now only if I can find a roundtrip for under 500~

Sunday, June 24, 2012

it's cheaper than therapy

So the workers comp whatever it is called agency for the state of AZ sent me to Tucson to see a psychologist... I thought it was to help me w/the PTSD I've been suffering from due to the dog attack @ Going to Grandma's... well it wasn't... all they wanted to do was make sure I wasn't crazy (the verdict is still out)... so we made the hour plus drive for nothing... it was so annoying & yet even after I told them all I wanted was to see someone to help me w/the PTSD... they did not listen.  I feel like I have no voice.  Now they want to send me back to Tucson to see a hand specialist... WHAT FOR?  I told them it's working & I'll live w/the scars, but all I want is to talk to someone (like a professional) to help me deal w/the PTSD... oy vey... well my hubby decided to take matters into his own hands & found me something that was cheaper than therapy... a puppy.  So last week we drove to tombstone & got Oscar.  He was 4 months old & weight just over 3lbs.  Now we have 3.  My 3 sons.  I can't have children, nor do I want to have children... if by some miracle I did, then by all means I would, but since I can't... I have dogs & they are my children.  I love them.  They bring me joy & happiness in a time when life is not as easy as it once was.  They give me purpose & help me see the beauty in life.  They give me hope.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

getting settled takes time

I know it's been a while... but I've been settling in & I had some anger (the whole hand thing) to get over before I could sit down to write.  So many times I wanted to vent about my feelings... wanted to bash the negligence of my former employer... wanted to make them pay for causing me pain & PTSD... but that would only put my pain into cyber space where it would eventually bite me in the ass... or other hand.  So instead I just focused on my new job, trailer life & getting back into taking photos.  I finally had one of my shots printed on aluminum.  It came out pretty nice.  I've even had a compliment from a stranger  who didn't know that I was the iPhotographer.  It felt good.  I hope to have more of my work printed & maybe actually sell a piece or two.  That would be most fabulous. 

Well... I know it's been a while, but I do have a job now & need to get back to it.  This is more of a post for me than you... I needed something to get me started... something to go from... two months is too long not to blog... now I just need to figure out where I go from here~

Thursday, April 19, 2012

3 times the charm

I sit in Raquel... its a beautiful day... still I have only seen a few hummingbirds... its been more of a desert cardinal day... yet both have something in common with my 1st job in AZ... red.
Hummingbirds are attracted to red, cardinals are red & I had to wear a red top as a floor person for Target. I didn't stay working for them. They wanted full availability but wouldn't offer full time hours. So I took a second job that became my only job... until I was attacked by a dog... realizing I could not go back to work at such a place... I found job #3. 3 times the charm I say.
It isn't only because its job #3... but I had 3 interviews before I got hired. Its a great job... a lot of responsibility but its right up my ally.
I'm an Innkeeper. I take care of an 8 room Inn & its guests. Its a half hours drive along the Mexican border but I love the job... & with the amount of Border patrol on my route... I feel very safe with my wicked Bostonian accent as its been mixed with some southern charm;)
Oh yeah... & our doors are red.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

a windy V day

The winds started picking up last night... trash night.  Unlike back where I lived in Salem, there was not much trash blowing around.  They use these large barrels w/flip tops.  Then the truck comes by and an automated arm reaches out to dump the trash... it's very Jetson's like.

Last night we went to dinner w/the folks.  It was at the oldest building in the city.  It used to be a brothel... I think we ate in what was once a boudoir.  It was a nice dinner.  I had a margarita that pretty much did me in for the night, but all is well... it's my day off.  Which brings me to my update in life on this windy V day.

I now pick up dog poop for a living and I LOVE it.  Not the poop itself, but the job.  It's hard work (in the  manual labor sense), but it's meaningful.  I've been working there for about two weeks now and the hours are picking up as well as they asked if I could do any afternoons.  I of course said yes.  The afternoon shift is not as labor intensive as the early AM shift.  They don't scrub the walls of Picasso.  They exercise the dogs w/the occasional poop pick-up.  I will still keep my early AM shifts as well, since I need to work as many hours as possible to have the funds to pay our monthly bills.  I do hope to be able to make beyond that so that we can also get RAQUEL up to FT living standard.  She made it here and that was it's own blessing... being vintage and all.  We too made it... that would be in thanks to my husband for his amazing driving skills:)  Now it is up to me since I have the local job, to work as much as possible to get us through this tough time.  So high HO, high HO... a picking up poop I go~

* w/that I'd like to say thank you to those who helped make this journey so far possible~ w/out you all we would not have been able to do this when we did. TY for this wonderful Vday {{{HUGS}}} & peace~ T